These few days have been pretty hard for me. Too many things happened and I feel tremendously overwhelmed. It's the beginning of the month and it spells "S-T-R-E-S-S". Getting paranoid of suffering from the 80-20 rule and coming back on alternate Saturdays. Seeing how Jacintha and Jojo breezing through their minimum target made me feel worse. Have wanted to work harder, but it seems there are no good resumes and job orders right now...
Other than work, I am stuck in the time warp. I just cannot get over what happened last Sunday. Those scenes, the past and the sickening heartache keep coming back every time I pass the places we once left our footprints or every time I see something which we once shared. I hate to live in misery and breath sorrow. I feel like a zombie with no hint of emotion. Perhaps I am destined to be a cursed walking zombie?
Suffered from 2 huge zits on the left side of the face and decided to look for Helen after work. When she saw me, she said I had grown prettier - It used to make me happy, but it seemed that those words had no impact on me. What happened to me? I don't know. While squeezing the pimples and clog from my face, she was blabbering about Christianity to me. She mentioned God would help those who need help. She sensed that I was unhappy and needed help? After the session, her parting words were "God love you". It was comforting to know that someone still loves me though I am no believer of Christianity : )
Left and bought a plain cheeseburger home. While listening to my ishuffle on my way home, I felt an excruciating ache. Wanted to cry out loud, but managed to control. Guess there was no point to be the centre of attraction in the bus. I felt like dying. Sometimes it made me wonder if dying would be a good way to remove all pain. What should I do?
Tomorrow is only Thursday. What the fuck. Getting increasingly irritated by the days, but does it matter? The future is bleak.
