It has been an eventful week. After attending the last minute facial at Aunt Helen's, I met up with Fat Boy for Scissors Curry Rice. Though I noticed that he had been quiet and slightly unhappy, I did not ask him (I guess it must be due to last Wednesday's appointment which I postponed) Proceeded to Downtown East after the reticent dinner and while strolling around the building, he hinted that I was a liar a couple of times; I snapped and insisted he give me an explanation. He did and as expected, it was due to the complicated relationship between King Kong, himself and me.
Both of us flared up and I got angrier and angrier when he increased his sarcasm level >: ( I demanded that I wanted to collect my bag from his boot and go straight home as I had no mood to stroll around. We got into his car and ignoring my request to stop his sarcasm, he continued his yakking. I reached my boiling point; got out of the car and stormed off to hail a cab. He gave chase and attempted to pull me back to the car. Feeling extremely lost and angry, I got hysterical and cried loudly (in public, oh my god - I think I even threw my bag on the pavement ) He had a hard time persuading me to go back to the car and finally, he pulled me by my hand and together, we walked back to the carpark (During the process, I guess I saw a couple of passersby throwing brief glances at us. Oh my god!)
He sent me home and during the journey, I couldn't stop wailing :~ ( I felt sad as I couldn't understand the existence of the issue - Had I been too willful to the extent that I couldn't get back to the right track, or that he was simply not the one I had been looking for, just that I couldn't let him go?) All thoughts raced through my mind and the more I thought, the harder I wailed :~ ( He mentioned that he could no longer tolerate the existence of King Kong and I had to consider carefully before coming to a decision: To be or not to be with him (Yes, he threw me the ultimatum) I told him I would give it a serious thought and get back to him once I had come to a conclusion. We parted and when I called him on his mobile phone, he refused to pick up and I got nervous. After the 20th missed call, he finally picked up and said he was fine; I almost died of anxiety : / (Can you imagine that my swollen eyes looked like fishballs stuffed with meat that night?)
Seriously, I have had no idea what I should do right now. One is a guy whom I have spent 6 years of my life with. Visualized him to be my hubby, but due to certain issues that cropped up during our wedding preparations, I've lost all faith in him - couldn't see any future with him. However, I believe if I were to untie the knots in me, he would be a very good and stable Significant Half despite our differences in thinking, characteristics and the way of doing things. He is somebody whom I look up to and I always take his advices and opinions in serious consideration (Just that there are taboo topics, like our future, that we try to avoid)
Another one is somebody whom I have known for a year. He has what I have been looking for, in terms of physique and characteristics, except money, which I placed great emphasis on. Initially, during the period when both Fat Boy and I separated, I visualized him to be a good boyfriend who loves to shower all his love on me with his fuss and cooking. However, due to some monetary issues, I decided that he was not for me as I wouldn't want to lead a life full of financial issues. Though he has tried his best to fill up the financial gap by working part-time after office hours several days per week, he has no time for me : ( However, I also believe that if I were to lower my financial expectations, we would be quite happy together. Unlike Fat Boy who gives me the impression that he is always a step ahead of me, the former is walking alongside with me. He is somebody whom I can yak non-stop; just that I cannot mention anything about Fat Boy (He would be angry)
Argh! Both are good..what should I do?
God help me.
