As an escapist, I hate confrontations with people around me. I am fine with them walking up to me and shoot whatever negative opinions they have, but I hate it when it comes to my turn, unless absolutely necessary. Usually when I feel pissed about something, I would keep mum about the whole thing (and also clam myself up - no more chummy) unless the other party initiated a "showhand". Only then I would throw up whatever grievances and unhappiness.
I am always afraid of watching horror shows. However, yesterday while I was watching "The Eye", miraculously, I did not cover my ears. I was too pissed:
He: Checked my emails and read your blog. Quite obvious you did not miss me. You did not mention me at all. Guess I am fading away from you ya.
Me: If you want me to write about you, guess you would not be able to take it. If you really want to see your name, start your own blog.
He: You would write all the "cannot make it stuff" about me ya? Instead of reconciling whatever differences, you kept pushing on. If there is someone waiting to be with you, and if you think I am not worth to be with you, tell me, I will accept it with stride and won't hold you back from your greener pasture.
Me: That's not the issue. You know what I am driving at. I hate your fucking attitude at the Coffee Club. It's just over a sofa seat and obviously, you did not enjoy the Sentosa trip.
He: Because they made you stand for too long and gave us attitude. I wanted to pay them back.
Me: Don't bluff. You know you wanted to have it your way.
He: Don't believe forget it. Actually I enjoyed the Sentosa trip. Just that you are too "kan cheong", I am too relaxed.
I guess I really hate people with sickening attitude, especially when you are in the wrong and you insist you are right. Used to have a boyfriend who is like that and it is very tiring to bring out the whole incident and explain why you feel he is in the wrong. And it is more tiring if he insists that he is in no wrong and both of you debate what is wrong and what is right. Ultimately, most of the time spent together is on debating what is right and what is wrong - not very constructive. In the end, I gave up telling him why he was wrong and it resulted in a split because we had nothing to talk about. It was a relief actually. No point forcing yourself to be in a non-constructive relationship.
Heard from Amy that she has this female friend who is constantly verbal and physical abuse from her boyfriend. In addition, he made her pay for his stuff. There was even once that he pushed her, pulled her hair and banged her head against the hard turmac ground. I freaked out. My god, why does this non-human thing exist in this world and why does the girl not leave him? I cannot tolerate such treatment. As a materialistic and self-centered person, I shuddered at the thought of going dutch / paying for guys when out for dinner dates, what's more paying for his handphone? I think at the very first instance he mentioned about me paying for his mobile phone, I would just run away and be unreachable for the rest of his life.
Anyway, went to Vivocity with Aunt just now. Went window shopping - I saw a Forever 21 pink retro top which I liked very much, but the thought of an Eygptian-designed blue top and a leopard print top, which I bought at the same store, is still stashed somewhere in the corner of my house prevented me from any purchase. Walked out of the door feeling fine..(Um, I think so). Then as usual, Aunt wanted to find a nice place to sit down. We went to Swenson's for nice ice cream.
