Indeed Amy threw in the letter today. I was overwhelmed with sadness. Tried controlling watery red eyes by acting stupid & funny, acting ga-ga over an Ah-Beng Treasury candidate (But he was indeed cool : P) and concentrating on reading CVs. I hate to say goodbye. I really hate to say goodbye, especially to a very good friend whom is very close. Fortunately, my years of practising extreme self-constraint paid off; I did not drop a single tear when the time came. We walked out of the office together and she said she wanted to hand umbrellas to Zen. We met up with him and Adeline's best friend, Asrin and we began to chat. After a while, she needed to go and tears began to well up in her big eyes. She hugged Adeline (That girl has really achieved Nirvana - Her emotion-controlling is superb) and wanted to hug me. I ran away because I could never handle it; sounds very heartless, I know. Hid behind the towering Zen, but Asrin caught me tearing. We left and boy, I was glad that I was not reduced to a water tap.
Went straight home after buying dinner. Felt drained after much emotion-controlling. Not much of an appetite and the shows on Channel 5 & 8 sucked. Went online and read Amy's blog. Saw her dedication to both Adeline and me. I couldn't control anymore and cry. Felt very childish, but I couldn't give a damn. I know I just miss her very much. Period.
*****
Dear Amy
Guess I didn't leave a fantastic impression when you and Zen reported to work on your first day. I felt angry because my leave was not approved and had to come back because Boss said he needed to train 2 newbies and I had to be in the office. At that point of time, I still missed Ben very much and seeing both you and Zen reminded me of the two of us. It made me want to puke. I am very sure now you know the feeling of losing your buddy over the most trivial issue eh?
Disliked your super high-pitched voice and your frilly frou frou dressing - Thought you were a political addition which would be a threat to the then-BGG paradise consisting Roy, me and Rightie. Though you belonged to my team, I chose to ignore you and you had to lunch with Jeline. Fortunately, Adeline joined you and both of you had each other. I continued to ostracize the both of you because I predicted you would leave - There was no point of getting to know you better since you were going to leave soon. It would be a waste of time. However, things took for a turn and after much persuasion from Rightie, I began to open up and go lunch with the 2 of you. In no time, I was vying with Jeline for you to go lunch with us. From there, the friendship took off.
Our friendship is never smooth-sailing. You are always the sensitive peacemaker and I am always the extreme troublemaker. There were times which we would go all out just to get our point right, even if it meant getting personal. There were also times which we would engage mini cold wars and avoid eye-contact, but what the hell, we were sitting opposite each other and imagine how difficult it was to coordinate walking pace in such a way we would be front and back respectively. Nevertheless, we had great fun together as well; A classic would be you pulling both tipsy Adeline and me together when we started to walk all over the places, celebrating Rightie's last day with the company at Asia Bar and so on. Wonder when we would have such fun again?
Realized that you are a fantastic person when you show kindness by sharing. You do not mind not having a share of fun so long as everybody is happy (Just like you gave up your seat to Eugene on the mahjong table) and turning me into a doll on the MS Charity Gala night. By saying all these is making me feel like dying of sadness.
Saw your blog - You are never alone in your career path. Everybody's struggling for their rice bowl and right now, we are just using different chopsticks (how lame). If ever you feel so sick about your job, you can always email us or chill out with us (We can also drink pints and pints of Hoeegarden like your other friends, you know?) Friends lose that touch because they did not make an effort to get connected. Let's make a pact to stay connected and go out at least twice a month? Shouldn't be too difficult har~As for your new job, I believe you can do it. Nobody goes into a job knowing everything - there ought to be a learning curve so that you find it a challenge right? If you still remember my favourite sentence " 我们是大学生, you know?", I believe you can make it work : )
Anyway, wish you all the best, Amy. I will miss you very much. I will hug you the next time we meet ok? (I think by the time the tears will not drop hor?)
*****
