Hey babe,
How have you been recently? I hope you are coping with life fine.
The weather is getting cooler over here and trust me, I am so grateful for that.
The summer in Japan is truly capable of melting one away =P
As for me, physically I am alright, but mentally I am still lost I guess.
At times I do feel like I am kinda drifting admist a sea of Japanese people and culture.
True enough, there are times when things are interesting and that I feel lucky to experience the events firsthand.
However, one can't possibly be upbeat all the time right?
There will be times when you need to seek solace from those around you and I guess that's when I feel kinda lost.
The feelings are indescribable. For example, when you just had a bad day, you would need some one to talk to or simply just to distract you from your unhappiness.
However, when you are all alone in a foreign land, such a basic need becomes a luxury.
As such, I wonder if I am getting paranoid as I start to dwell on the simplest matters. No wonder they say living alone abroad makes you stronger.
I mean if I have to pull through almost everyday like this, I think I should be numb in no time.
And that's a fact. I'm getting used to silence and frequent monologues.
I realised that this has nothing to do with making friends or not. I do have friends of all sorts now (managed to make a few.. ^ ^)
But as you can imagine, the friendship could not possibly be that strong. After all, it has only been slightly more than a month since I'm here.
Then again, I can somehow foresee that the friendship would be nothing like bosom friends because we are all from different lands and kinda of too old to make truly lasting relationships. I mean at this age, trust and opening your heart to others seems overly naive. I'm not speaking just for myself but for the humankind in general.
If you get what I mean...
This may sound downright pessimistic but you know, everyone has their own lives to lead. They might be smiling and laughing with you in one second, and in the other, they are back to their own lives and you wouldn't know what is happening on the other end unless contact is kept. I can say so especially for the Japanese. You know how polite and how false they can be in front of people whom they are not close with. This is something I seriously dislike about Japanese culture, much to my fondness for the language and culture in general.
Well, adaptation is a very powerful and scary thing though. Like I have mentioned, I am beginning to get accustomed to the sort of life here.
Despite the many grievances that I poured out in the above (looking back at what I have written, I am shocked at the negative feelings I had!! =P),
I am kind of sedated here. I try to stay focus and do what is most beneficial for me. I guess the best way is to let nature takes it course for most matters.
This is one of the most important realization so far from my stay here. Never try to second guess what might happened next.
The more you hope for something, the more it is going to escape from your grasp.
Okay, there is somthing amiss in my life now. Judging from what I have wrote, knowing you, you should be able to guess what is happening to me now.
Sighh, do try to tell me more about it because I refuse to admit it =P and please let me know what is happening to you and your various 'lovers' right now =P
Just when I thought I know all about it, it seems that you never fail to impress or shock me with unbelievable news and happenings! ^ ^
Oh yeah... what about your work? Are you satisfied? Are there any interesting news in Singapore now?
Please take care and send my regards to gramps, ah yee and all at home.
In nostalgia,
Wynne (weeps)
*Kinda relieved after unloading my lonely feelings in this mail ^ ^ Thanks for your patience in reading the mail though!
