Though he is forbidden by his deity to meet up with me, we met up yesterday. Went to Han's at Marina Square for a short dinner before making our way to Bugis - I had wanted to ease my craving for bubble tea : ) It did feel weird meeting up with him after such a long time (yes, I know it's only slightly over 2 weeks); there was a mixture of anticipation, anguish as well as joy (though I refused to admit so) He had dropped a few pounds and looked visibly tired, which was very different from the active and smiley King Kong months back.
Frankly speaking, I didn't know how to react in his presence. Should I act chirpy or just remain nonchalant? (I didn't know and I felt like an idiot) I had loads to tell him - I wanted to tell him that I kinda missed him though I felt sick of his money issues. However, he beat me to it when he told me that he had received a call from his cousin saying that his deity had got wind of our outing and that he was worried because he had broken his promise to the latter not to meet me till Chinese New Year. When asked about the consequences, he mentioned he might lose everything (Never play with higher powers eh?) and things would be much better if I had agreed to support him all the way (but I was not prepared to).
Every single time when he brings up the issue, I will feel tremendously sick. I strongly do not believe in girls supporting guys. No way. Though I must say I miss him alot, the aching feeling immediately morphs into pure anger and frustration the moment he tries to persuade me. I just want to run away from him...and confirm once again that this is not what I want for long term...Tried numerous times to forget about the whole issue and move on, but many a time, I cannot forget his big hands, his lovesick face and towering physique..
Should I leave? Am I able to do it? Can I forget him? I don't know.
