Crashed & Burnt

I hate Mondays. Especially when I am suffering from severe sunburns and a crooked neck, from the turning and tossing yesterday night.

It is hard to bear especially when the office is so dead. I can even hear my own breathing.

I want to go home, changed into spaghetti-top, watch TV, rest and write my blog.

But today's Monday and there is the sickening sales meeting. I am looking forward to go home. I want to go home. The time now is 5:09pm. Another 1.5 hour to go.

What the fuck.

Big Zit

Before I left the house, I realised I have a big zit on the right side of my face. I don't know what is happening to my right cheek. It always seems to ooze zits out from nowhere. I am so pissed off. Just when my 2 blemishes are on the verge of healing, this stupid big zit must appear. I suspect it must be the smoke from the ciggies that caused the buildup of toxins. Argh! I am so angry. I am going to seek Aunt Helen's help soon. Specifically next Saturday.

After bathing BoyBoy and clearing his pee&poo station, I went to bathe as well. How nice bathing can wash away the stupid zit. Met up with Accountant and together we went to Sentosa. As it was rather late in the afternoon that we went, we selected what we wanted to do carefully:

• Took the cable car to Sentosa. Bought the tix from HarbourFront Tower. Couldn't find the building and had to follow the misleading signages. Even angrier when Accountant walked like a tortoise. He was of zero help. Saw the super long queue at the tix station. Continue to feel pissed.
• Reached Sentosa. Took the Blue Line Bus then the Yellow Line Bus to reach the Pavillion. Knew that Accountant hates to walk, decided to find somewhere nice to chill. Had Super Booster consisting of all kinds of fruit, yoghurt and honey. Forgot what he had. It was something milky with a cinammon stick peering out of the glass. Didn't appeal to me. Requested 2 servings of nuts. Felt so fat and full of almonds and cashew nuts.
• Went to Palawan Beach instead of Siloso Beach (We lost our way - Missed Cafe Del Mar). Settled there for dinner. Had substandard claypot chicken rice. He had substandard mee hoon kway - The soup was hot only for a minute.
• Accountant realised that he was not full from the substandard mee hoon kway - walked into 7-11 and bought chicken roll & cheese sandwich. We enjoyed it more than the substandard food we had moments back.
• Took the cable car back - Strolled around Vivocity. Had wanted to buy the (m)phosis white princess tee, realised I could top up and buy a Forever 21 top, which is better.
• We went home in a cab and feeling fat from the nuts, substandard claypot rice and sandwich, I went jogging and here I am, writing my blog.

Beautiful Saturday

Saturdays remain as my favourite day cos they mark the end of a gruelling week. I can go out till the wee hours on Friday nights and sleep in till Saturday late mornings. The thought of having so much free time on my hand excites me, though it includes bathing BoyBoy and clearing his pee&poo station. Planning to go to Sentosa with Accountant later on. Guess dipping my cracked heeled feet in seawater and inhaling the salty breeze is good. Had suggested to him that I want to take the cable car - it has been ages since I last took the moving container.

Felt very full (but satisfying) from the fried rice and pumpkin soup Aunt cooked this morning. At the very least, it's not the same old stuff that I have for everyday lunch - it's either bak chor bee tai bak, fried fish soup, you mian, curry rice and arrrggghh..the thought of them brought me back to Raffles Place, then Chevron House and specifically BGC. Help~

Working sucks. Having the one-hour break is haven, despite eating the same old list of food over and over and over. It switches the mind off work for that precious 60 minutes. How I envy those who have more than an hour lunch! Usually when we try to self-extend another 10 - 15 minutes, there is always a bomb-ticking email awaiting us to click "open" and the moment we did that, the arrow of "Lunch is strictly an hour, from 11:30am to 2pm, I have lost my patience, do not take my kindness for weakness" piercing through and shattering our morale. Come on, we are sales personnel. Taking more than an hour lunch break and coming in slightly later than 8:30am is perfectly fine. Don't understand why the rigidness and inflexibility.

Ellen Lee went out with both Adeline and me for lunch yesterday. It was the first time. We had "zi char" and guess what? It was her treat. Who says there is no free lunch in the world? : P

My Claypot Seafood Kway Tiao

Ellen Lee & Adeline

A bad shot by Ellen Lee - That girl doesn't know how to take pix!

Oily & Fattening

Just came back from a slow and sweaty jog. Felt invigorating. I guess the toxins and the noodles, xiaolongbao and the red bean buns have been purged through the pores as sweat. Recently fell in love with jogging, don't know why. Last time I hate to exercise because sweat would make my skin itch and I hate that (Afterwhich I realise it's due to the UV rays from the sun).

Was never slim, I was not fat, but chubby and pudgy : ) I used to envy slim girls with super high metabolism rate. No matter how much they gobble, they remain the same. Guess if I were to do that, I would balloon and be outcasted from society. When I was a teenager, I loved spaghetti strapped tops from Soda Jeans, but because of my big arms, I refrained from wearing them. Instead, I wore T-shirts. There is not much of variety, actually, until I decided to lose weight and shape up. These are the few ways I did:

1. Skipped dinner because had upsized fries and upsized iced lemon tea in the noon with sworn sister. That was in secondary school -> Failed
2. Jogged 12 times round the stadium track everyday. Metabolism surged and hunger set in. Had extra 2 - 3 scoops of rice during dinner. That was in JC -> Failed, but stamina was invincible
3. Skipped dinner and drank 1 big cup of bubble tea (and sometimes two) every Friday with sworn sister. That was in JC and post JC -> Failed
4. Went swimming every alternate day and munching Jack & Jill chips / Hershey's chocolate bar on my way home from the pool -> Failed, looked like Joscelin Yeo and all, despite a nice golden tan
5. Resorted to seeing the doc for an effective weight-loss program. Lost weight from 60 - 53kg. That was post JC -> Failed cos the hole in my pocket was getting bigger and bigger. Who can withstand bleeding of $70 every month then?
6. Skipped lunch. That was in SIM -> Needless to say, Failed cos I was in a delirium every single day.
7. Tried 3 boxes of Extrim in 3 months -> Failed. Kept running to the toilet after each meal and it kills my bank account as well.
   
8. Walked up the stairs 5 times on alternate days -> Failed. Nice and toned butt, but my knees gave way.

Guess those were the days. Usually when one gets older, they cannot be that bothered to go all out to lose weight. Work is already a chore..All you want to do after work is a good meal and maybe a nice drink, afterwhich go home watch some TV and sleep.

Just like me right now..I am going to bathe, pull Boyboy to sleep and retire to slumberland, in preparation for tomorrow's war.

What the fuck. Tomorrow's only Friday.

Goodbyes & Whys

Today's Amanda's last day. I felt shocked - She was doing well, yet she wanted to leave..not because she had no sales, but because she was disillusioned with management. What's new? Though we did not speak much, I felt that I know her better after our incentive dinner outing. Regret not answering her when she threw me her 1st question "Can you intro yourself?" She liked to ask me why I am so cold towards newcomers. I always have no answer for her except to smile blankly..I don't know why. She hugged me for the last time just now..She weeped. I felt very sad - I thought I would miss her hugs, though there were only two (One was a parting hug when we left Cafe Del Mar). Anyway, I wish her all the best in her future endeavours and hope that she will not be that simple. Simplicity is good, but it can kill...

Read Ad's blog. Loved her French-y concept. I always loved her ideas. Very abstract and creative. Surprised me initially, because she comes across as a Hokkien Ah Lian (Opps!) who mouths "Haaaaallooo~, I dun like!" Saw her thoughts which left me shocked and sad. I never thought that this happy-go-lucky never-may-care kid would be entrapped in confusion, bitterness and anger by this thing called "Love"...I hope that she would be her usual "ngieh" (Hokkien for sticking to own guns) self and face each and every problem with style. Hey, I know she can do it man!

I am quite affected by Amanda's departure, despite Accountant's constant consolations..I see the need to answer her question:

"Amanda, because I hate to say goodbye"

Eyebrows

Guess the most important lines on a woman's face are the eyebrows. Can you imagine crooked lines or sparse hairs on the browbone? I used to have "red caterpillars" on my browbone - I admit by default and with fervent plugging, my brow is almost invisible and one can never be a beautiful woman without beautiful brows. Hence, after much research via the net and friends, I heard about the #1 salon. Sounds corny, but that's the place which housed the eyebrow specialist, Amy. She is like the beauty guru who transformed many brow-problematic plain Janes into beautiful arched-browed women. I am included (>_<) Hahaha... Yesterday, Rightie and I went for our 3rd touchup. I guess the more touchups we go, the more painful it would be. Imagine using a needle to scratch against the delicate skin of the browbone for countless of times. I thought I had high threshold of pain - but I nearly burst out crying. Not that I was emotionally sad, but I guess it must had been the nerves. I remember the moment the needle seeped into the browbone, I started to wriggle my toes furiously and to think of other mindless stuff. I thought of screaming "Stoppppppppppiitttttttttttt!!!!!!!", snatched the needle and break it, but vanity blew the thought of strutting out of the salon with beautiful (but fake) eyebrows. It spurred me to continue with the inhumane torture. I recalled tears welling in my eyes. Finally the whole thing ended and boy was I glad! I believed I had attained the next level of pain tolerance - I believe I will still go for the next touchup which will be at the end of the year.It's worth it.

After the horrible experience of being pricked on the browbone, I proceeded to Botak Jones to have dinner. Had Cajun Chicken..perhaps the queueing and waiting time was too long..I lost all appetite. But it's quite value-for-money. Dieters should not try this though.

Cajun Chix (left) & Fish and Chips (right)

Slack

Yesterday my colleagues from Banking & Finance went to Waraku to have our incentive dinner, with courtesy from our Boss. Last month, the whole B&F team hit $100K of sales, hence, out of happiness (or impulse), Boss gave us a miserly 500 bucks to spend. I cannot imagine how pathetic the incentive is. It's not even 1%. Regardless, we had a great time. Had unagi don because I had no appetite or that the variety is so much such that I just didn't know what to choose.

After a hearty meal of sashimi, don and noodles, we proceeded to Cafe Del Mar in Sentosa. That was my 1st time there. Had wanted to go there several times, but the rain dashed our plans time and again. We had red wine, beer, baileys and margaritas and one hell of a good time. We shared alot of juicy stuff like guys, sex and the daring stuff we did. Guess sex and men remain a lifelong interest for women. The feeling of tipsy from alcohol and ciggies was fantastic - the combo made you forget the daily mundane nitty gritty issues..Regardless, I still miss him alot alot, though I knew he was sleeping at home (as usual). I just wanted to be courageous; grab him, take a cab to ROM and sign our lives to each other, nevermind his boring lifestyle, his liabilities, his insecurities (he's forever thinking he's fat and he's forever worrying about his face) and such.

One thing I discovered from yesterday's outing is that we had such fun. If not for the incentive, doubt the whole B&F team would go out. It made me understand Ellen Lee and especially Amanda more and the feeling ought to be mutual - they understood the 3 of us better too. It was really a good thing that we went out. But hope that the next time we go out, we will bring our bikinis along.

: )

Incentive Dinner

Hollow

Last Saturday I mentioned about friendship. I am one who don't really make an hardcore effort to maintain friendships because I feel that it is like the clouds in the sky - they come together and they go just like that. Wai Kin and the rest changed my perception and I realised that it's good in make an effort (it doesn't hurt anyway). Ironically, today, my perception was shakened. I felt sick and disappointed. Not exactly betrayal~ but what's the difference? I still felt sick and hard about it. Amy told me there are many "layers" of friendship. I may be a good friend, but she may have "better" friends whom she can confide everything in.

I don't mind not knowing everything about one. But if he or she keeps saying that we are very close, hiding things from me is equivalent to betrayal. Whatever, I just feel sickening stench of disappointment revolving me. Even jogging to destress no longer helps. The damage is done. Things will not be the same anymore. I hate to act. Acting happy and as if nothing has happened equates a disservice to yourself.

Whatever, received the pictures of last week's workshop at Scarlet Hotel this morning, with courtesy from Amy.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Enjoy the sickeningly sweet and cute pictures of the 3 flowers prancing about in Scarlet Hotel.

Worskshop @ Scarlet Hotel

Longing

Fireworks on his 1st night

Right now the Accountant is in Phuket. Everynow and then, he would send me MMSes of what he sees in the idyllic place. Seems like he is enjoying himself now. Good. Beats than hiding in the hotel room.

On his 1st night, he said that there were fireworks there. At that point of time, was wondering how he feeling? Did I come across his mind? I don't know.




Some ulu island

Received the most recent MMS from him. He said he is at some unknown island. The weather looks hot and the place not so fun. Again, I hope to be there. Regardless. Wonder what he is going to send me later on..

Friendship

Waikin's 27th Birthday

Last Saturday, we went to celebrate Waikin's birthday at Bobby Rubino's at Chijmes. I was the organiser. Looking back, ever since we graduate in December 2004, we made it a point to meet up at least once a month for a gathering. So far so good. I didn't expect that we would uphold our promise. Thought that it was the usual "touch and go, hi and bye" kinda thingy - those "forget-me-not, keep in touch forever" mushy stuff that you would write in autographs when everybody was in secondary school.

For Waikin and the rest, everybody is very different. Waikin for one, is a very reserved guy. Unless you have similar interests, it is difficult to tune to his weird frequency. Nevertheless, he's a renowned worker bee - Forever so diligent. Charis is also a quiet and reserved person. At a point of time, I felt quite stressed when I was left alone with her in Melbourne. We had literally nothing to talk except for chocolates (She is a chocolate fanatic). Not that I didn't want to speak to her, but I was not sure what to talk and even if I did, I only received mono one-sentence answers. But if you know her long enough, you would realise that she is a very nice person. A very good listener, but no advice from her :P As for Zhaoxin, she's also a nice and cheerful person, albeit roller-coaster moodswings. She can be sweet at times, but fussy the next minute. Willing to go to the extra mile for you, but sometimes will receive soft murmurs of complaints..In short, a nice person. As for Skinny Bones, he's very good and helpful person, just that sometimes, he's abit lazy. Very IT saavy.

Dug out the pictures that we took on Waikin's 26th birthday. Realised how different we look as compared to last year.

Waikin's 26th Birthday

Saw the difference? I am shocked as well - Guess I need to dump the Bugs Bunny T shirt away. Hahaha...Regardless, friends come and go, but for good ones, treasure them. It never hurt to make an effort for a gathering.

Workshop Today

Woke up at 6:45 this morning to make it in time for the workshop at Scarlet Hotel. Didn't had a good feeling about the hotel cos of the location. However, the moment I stepped into the place, I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere. The theme of the hotel is love, desire, lust. Colour theme of course is red. It would be a good place for a weekend retreat for couples with raging hormones. The ambience will add fuel to the flames of love. Took many pictures of the place using Amy's camera..Had such great fun. How nice my dear Rightie was there too~

Did CSA (Sales projection for the next quarter). As usual, everybody gave fake targets to impress Boss. Not unusual. Who is in the right mind to conduct expensive workshops every 3 months?It's a waste of time and money. For lunch, the food was not impressive. Chicken thigh (that tasted like breast) with gnoochi and greens at the side. Had an overdose of caffine (Had 2 cups of regular black and Coke), which suppressed the appetite.

Unhearty lunch

After that, B&F1's 3 flowers went to Bugis to window shop. After a while, Amy needed to make a move cos she had a ferry to catch. (That lucky bitch must be enjoying herself in Bintan. Damn!Haha). For me, I went to the Waterloo temple to pray and request for a lot, due to the recent dilemma I had been facing for several weeks. Glad that it was a good lot, then again, it was ambiguous - One reaches the gates of Heaven and an old friend lets one in through the well-guarded gate. One rides the clouds.

Went home to sleep and then went to Alexandra Village to have my usual dinner of fish & veggie rice. At least it compensated the lousy lunch.

Healthy and delicious!

Just now's dinner reminds me of the French ratatouille that I had with Adeline in Soup Spoon a few days back. Healthy and nice, but expensive for an hour's lunch..

Lunch @ Soup Spoon '07

Thursday - never rains, but pours

Today is a bit bleak. As usual, I am like a zombie at work - forever rushing to close deals and answering endless phonecalls. Fortunately, this month, I have the foodtasters to fall back on, otherwise, I guess I will experience the cruel 80-20. Cannot imagine getting 80% of my basic salary.

Getting abit lost because Accountant is going for his company retreat in Phuket tomorrow - he will only be coming back next Monday. So sians..Thought that we could have gone out to have fun. Argh. He is quite reluctant to go actually (He is never an adverturous person); I suspect he would be happier staying home sleeping (What a boring person). Regardless, cannot believe my coming weekends would be bleak and dull.

Had wanted to upload few pictures and write about them - but the sickening cable just cannot work today. Damn. It never rains, but pours. What the hell.

I think I will miss his nonsense, though it's only for 3 days.

Job Job Job

Today is only Tuesday..3 more days to the weekends and guess what? I have a company workshop at Scarlet Hotel this coming Sat. My god! Even my precious Sat is not spared..I cannot sleep till 10+am, I cannot eat the brunch which Aunt cooks for me (Could be fried noodles, curry chicken or fried rice - depending on her mood), I cannot bathe Boyboy..I cannot watch the morning Chinese shows on SCV...in short, I cannot slack. Instead I have to rack my brains just for the 10 minute stupid sales projection presentation. What the fuck. I seriously think it is a complete waste of time..

Sales is a hectic job. At every beginning of the month where there are no pending cases to be closed, I have to be on frantic mode..to worry how I am going to cross my 3.5x target. Just to achieve the bloody basic salary. At the end of the month when I thought I can slack, the figure on the sales board is short of several hundred dollars to achieve the highest commission tier. In short, I can never rest. The only time when I can rest is when I am super positive I can never cross my 3.5x that month...Super stress...Arghhh...

Then again, to look back, sales is good money. No way can I buy my 1st Louis Vuitton bag if I am in admin, HR or accounts right now. Though the feeling of having high life is great, the pressure tagged with it is even greater..Guess there is a price for everything. No matter where one goes, it's just a job.

Tomorrow is only Wednesday...guess I gotta grit my teeth, look at my Speedy 30 and move on...

Fuck.

Smoking Beagle

The too-fortunate Boyboy running away from food

Slacking at home the whole morning, saw Boyboy running away from Gramps when she wanted to feed him with rice, pieces of boiled pork and veggie. Thought of going online to look at pictures of other beagles. Saw this article and feeling very angry with what I saw. Thought that there may be more humane ways of laboratory testing....


Beagles being forced to exhale smoke

The grim truth about that search for your safe cigarette

THE pitiful row of beagles, trussed up and forced to smoke cigarette after cigarette fixed in the masks. This exclusive picture shows how each helpless animal is identified by name. For Josephine it is a moment of respite before her mask is fixed.

DEATH FOR THE 30-A-DAY DOGS

Hell of helpless chain-smokers

INVESTIGATION by MARY BEITH who worked in Britain’s animal labs to get these disturbing facts

THIS is the price of smoking pleasure,

Rows of beagle dogs, trussed up and masked, and each compelled to smoke up to 30 cigarettes a day.

Smoking is not their pleasure. More of a misery.

But the chain-smoking beagles have to puff away relentlessly. As the stubs burn out, new cigarettes are promptly inserted by lab assistants in the grotesque “smoking masks” attached to these unhappy animals.

Some of the dogs go on smoking for up to three years. Then they are killed. All, of course, in the name of research. In this case research into the human pastime known as smoking.

It is part of tests being carried out by Britain’s largest company, Imperial Chemical Industries, on their new “safe” cigarette.

I observed this incredible scene while taking part with other Sunday People investigators in the first-ever probe into animal research laboratories.

A sharp increase in experiments has followed the stringent regulation ordered by the Government’s Dunlop Committee on drug safety.

Ten animals every minute are being used in licensed experiments for research.

Because Britain’s animal researchers do not welcome public attention much of our startling information was gathered by investigators obtaining jobs as laboratory assistants without disclosing their identities.

But nothing we saw was more pitiful than the chain-smoking dogs.

I.C.I. and the massive Imperial Tobacco Company have joined in investing £13 million on a new factory where the cellulose-based “New Smoking Material” – N.S.M. for short – will be used in cigarettes to reduce the health risk in human smokers.

At I.C.I.’s “Dog Toxicity Unit” at Alderley Park, Cheshire, where I took a job, there are 48 beagles smoking variations of ordinary tobacco and N.S.M.

One batch of 12, who have been smoking for two years, are expected to smoke 30 a day. Others smoke only 10 a day.

PART of my job was to get the dogs trussed in fabric slings like strait-jackets.

Their heads were restrained by locking two boards in place, like medieval stocks.

The dogs were then lifted on trolleys to the smoking platform, and the masks, valves and tubes were fixed to their faces.

WE HAD to adjust electronic valves which control the amount of amoke and clear air inhaled by the dogs.

WE HAD to watch flashing lights on the control box which indicate the dog’s breathing and tolerance of the smoke.

WE HAD to help re-fit masks where dogs had struggled free. One tried to bite my hand as I put the muzzle on.

WE HAD to hurry along dogs who got behind with their daily “ration” by adjusting the valves so that the beagles were forced to inhale more smoke to speed up the process.

I was constantly reminded to carry out this procedure.

And when they have finished their smoking stint the dogs are killed and sent to pathology laboratories to be cut up and examined for signs of cancer, liver or heart diseases or other possible effects.

Some of the dogs have acquired a smoker’s cough judging from the sounds I heard.

Some make muffled whines and cries behind their masks. One difficult dog, Buster, had to have an attendant with him all the time. I saw two attendants restraining him, one smacking him with a plastic ruler when he got restless.

One the whole, attendants were sympathetic with the dogs. But naturally the quieter dogs were favourites.

One dog, Rhumbo, never took part in experiments because he was adopted as a pet. A woman attendant told me: “We shouldn’t really keep him here, since he’s not being used. But we keep quiet about him.”

When not strapped to their trolleys, the dogs were confined in rows of small kennels and got very little exercise.

I NEVER saw any of them go outside for a romp. Yet some of the dogs, which came from the I.C.I. breeding unit as puppies, were barely nine months old.

When I was introduced to the smoking unit the supervisor told me: “Some people may not like the idea of dogs being used for experiments but millions of pounds have been invested in the project.”

And the personnel officer told me that rats, guinea-pigs and monkeys were also used in the I.C.I. labs’ experiments on a number of products, including decorating materials.

An I.C.I. spokesman pointed out that the experiments were under veterinary supervision and Home Office rules.

When it was suggested to him that the dogs were being used for research into human pleasure, rather than pure medical research, he said that I.C.I. recognised that smoking was a national phenomenon, whether one liked it or not, and they were trying to produce a substance that would reduce the health danger.

Evidence from Sunday People investigators is being studied by the R.S.P.C.A.’s special committee on animal experiments. Chairman Dr. Kit Pedlar, shown pictures of the smoking tests, said: “To subject dogs to this is unnecessary. We are most concerned at the number of experiments taking place where there is no direct medical benefit.”

The committee’s research officer, Mr. David Pennock, checks published papers on experiments and makes formal visits to research centres. “But he does not penetrate research centres under cover,” said Dr. Pedlar.

Little Apple Dolls

Suddenly thought of Little Apple Dolls and went to website www.littleappledolls.com . Brilliant product. They are actually Japanese spirits lookalike dolls with interesting stories. I have the Little Apple Doll by the name of Sine, as shown above. It's actually a gift from Skinny Bones. I was so touched when I received the gift such that I couldn't stop crying. Hahaha...Anyway, Sine's story begins as like that:

Little Apple Red says the Little Girl who lived in the house by the orchard used to pick the fallen apples and make believe they could talk. The Little Girl loved the apples of the orchard and spent all her days there. Sometimes she would write poems about them. Sometimes she played counting games. Sometimes she told the apples stories.

Listening to the Little Girl was Little Apple Red's favourite thing to do. He wished he could be a fallen apple so the Little Girl would play with him the way she played with the fallen apples. He wanted to fall but he knew if he did, come sun-up he'd be ready for the eatin'. Boy was Little Apple Red confused.

Time went by. The Little Girl did not play outside in the orchard as much. When she did she only stayed for a little while. She missed the apples. Looking out into the orchard from the house made her heart hurt. She was always tired and spent less time in the orchard...until she stopped coming outside at all.

One day Little Apple Red says he saw some men carry a long white box out of the house and through the orchard. He says he saw th men put the box in a hole in the ground and put a big cross on it. He didn't know why but Little Apple Red felt real sad.

The Little Girl felt herself falling into her bed. Into the sheets. Into the floor and the ground beneath that. The Little Girl heard crying - "Help us, take us away. Bring the apples...our souls. Sine. Save us..." She found herself in a place she did not know, wandering. Broken glass, pins, needles grew from the ground. A land with and without life. Loud whispers sat on her shoulders and dived into her ears. The Little Girl tried to cover her ears...She could not stop them and she could not understand.

The Little Girl saw many like her. They were pale and hollow-eyed. Lost and lonely. Some had their eyes sealed shut and their mouths wiped away. They could not speak. They could not see. Their time before was cut short by being sick and their lives being taken by force. A little boy ran towards her and shook her: he was speaking but she could not understand: he spoke in rustling leaves and sirens. A great shadow followed the boy as he ran past the Little Girl.

Black creatures flew over head lifting the wandering children into the darkness above. Little white canoles floated everywhere. they were death gages for the lost. A little white canole floated near to the Little Girl. She touched it and it spoked: "Save us. The Watchers are eating souls. Find a place to hide us." She touched it again ..." The hole above ...when the above and the below touch, chaos is born. From the chaos will come a safe haven..the Inbetween". The Little Girl tried to speak but out came the sounds of wind chimes and running water. The Little Girl could not think of a way to make the sky fall. She thought of the apples in the orchard and the stories she used to tell them. The Little Girl wanted to wander but she did not know why. Her feet began to move. She spoke in droplets and and bells of the days amongst the apples.

A voice called from the Little Girl's pocket. A fallen apple from the orchard had awoken. Little Apple Red says that it was as if the Little Girl's voice had brought the apple to life. In the Inbetween, everything is with and without life. The little white canole looked on. The apple jumped onto the Little Girl's shoulder and nestled her cheek and whispered to her.

The Little Girl took the fallen apple and covered it with the pins, needles and broken glass from the ground and threw it high into the Darkness above. When the above and the below touch, chaos is born. From the chaos will come safe haven...the Inbetween...but not like the one before. The brightest light fell from above blinding the flying creatures. The children floated up and spiralled mid air. The light filled their hollow eyes and fed their hungry souls.

Creaking doors and breezes, leaking taps and quiet footsteps, barking dogs and glass shattering. The wandering children wailed. The ground began to shake. A hole opened up in front of the Little Girl. She could see the orchard...She touched the little white canole again - " Yours is not the fate of the others...go and bring them here.." Red flames shone from the Little Red Girl's: the little canole disappeared.

The Little Girl returned to the orchard. Little Apple Red says she looked different. Her hair was darker and her eyes were hollow. But she could see right through him. Seeing her. Little Apple Red had remembered how much he had missed her.

She picked up Little Apple Red and told him he had a very special thing to do. His was the fate of ordinary apples. The Little Girl had been sent to find protectors of children like her: children that lay Inbetween places. The Little Girl told Little Apple Red of what she had seen in the place past the Inbetween. Childrenpast the Inbetween were lost, lonely and needed protection. Sine had created chaos in the place past the Inbetween and had to go back for the others but could not do it by herself. Little Apple Red says even she was in danger. She told Little Apple Red would be the first warrior, but not any warrior. He would be the protector of the Little Girl's soul. She told him she had to go back at sun-up but she'd right back to play with him when it grew dark. Little Apple Red says he was real confused. What he could do he was just an ordinary apple. Small and plain and red.

The Little Girl told Little Apple Red that he had nothing to fear. He would be the protector of her soul. Sine, the Keeper's soul. As she told of the life she would lead as the Protector of Souls Inbetween in this world and that, he felt a warmth move through him like the Little Girl's hands were made of sunlight.

Some Thoughts...On A Rainy Night

Suddenly remember the rainy night on my way home from JB...Took a few pictures..It was raining quite heavily then. I always like the idea of being in a car on a rainy night because all kinds of feelings drizzle from nowhere - Romance, sadness, comfort...Reminds me of a song,

我真的受伤了by Jacky Cheung. Guess this song suits the feeling of enjoying the night drizzle through the car windows.

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday. A dull Good Friday..BUT definitely better than a working day. Woke up at 10+ this morning and had fishball noodles. Nothing nice on TV. Nothing nice on newspapers. Had wanted to go to the movies, but it seems like there is are no good shows. Arghhh...Very sickening. Plus, it doesn't help that I am suffering from the "once a month" thingy. Holy crap!

Just a recap of what I did last Saturday:

Saturday 31 March 2007

• Met up with Auntie Helen, my beautician to unclog the toxins in my face and to tackle the stubborn blemishes on the right side of my pretty face
• Met up with Fat Boy and together we went to the arrogant Louis Vutton shop to buy my 1st Speedy 30 bag. It was through a brain-racking process of choosing the classic monogram and the checkered Damier monogram before finally deciding on the former
• Fat Boy and I went to play a few rounds of pool before meeting up with my playmate cousin, Wynne and her ex-commando boyfriend, Dickie Boi.
• We went to the "O" cafe opposite NYDC to have dinner
• Horrific and expensive food accompanied by constant stream of sharp and harsh comments
• The bill came to $120 - We vowed never to go there again. it would be the 1st and last time.

Outing with Wynne 31 March 2007